As a doctor in Gaza, I will never leave my patients

Having spent more than 25 years caring for children, I chose paediatrics because children are our future. They deserve the best health services and the utmost care from all of us. 

But today, from my hospital in Gaza City, that future is feeling ever-more distant. 

In Gaza City, we are experiencing one of the worst military assaults we have ever seen. Entire residential high-rises are being razed to the ground by Israeli military air strikes. Constant forced displacement orders mean thousands of civilians must flee their homes, yet again. 

This is catastrophic in every sense of the word. We are exhausted; everyone is beyond their breaking point. I do not even know whether I will still be alive tomorrow.

This suffering is compounded by the deliberate starvation campaign imposed by the Israeli army, coupled with severe shortages of medicines and critical medical equipment that we need to cope with this seemingly never-ending genocide.  

I lead the paediatric and neonatal intensive care units (ICUs) at the Patient’s Friends Benevolent Society Hospital in Gaza City, both of which have been established and supported in partnership with Medical Aid for Palestinians.

I currently have 19 patients, including three children in paediatric intensive care, and 10 newborns in neonatal intensive care and other levels of neonatal care. Nearly all are in critical condition, casualties of Israeli military attacks. They have lost limbs, had shrapnel rip through their organs, or been crushed by falling buildings. 

No safe shelter

On one occasion, an entire family’s home was bombed. The mother, eight months pregnant, was pulled from the rubble. She underwent an emergency cesarean section. The baby was admitted to our ICU, where she stayed for three weeks due to repeated seizures caused by oxygen deprivation to the brain. This is something we see almost daily.

Babies arrive at the hospital malnourished and underweight. Their mothers have no safe shelter, no clean water, no food. They are forced to endure constant bombing, displacement and fear. We see a very high rate of premature births, largely as a result of this stress. 

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Israel’s punishing blockade means our hospital lacks incubators for newborns, paediatric ICU beds, ventilators, and even basic drugs and baby formula. We have no central oxygen supply, and rely entirely on a dwindling number of oxygen cylinders. 

Children here have died simply because we do not have the supplies to keep them alive, much as we try. 

This is the most basic right of childhood: the right to receive medical care even under the worst circumstances

As Gaza City is invaded and people are forced to flee their homes, the consequences for hospitals, and for my patients, could be absolutely catastrophic. I fear every day that our hospital will receive a forced displacement order from the Israeli army. 

But evacuating the sick children receiving our care would be almost impossible. Moving them without specialised equipment and meticulous medical procedures would almost certainly mean they will die. 

As doctors and nurses, we will stand firm until the last moment, and will not abandon our patients. We will remain by their side until the very end. 

That is despite the unprecedented killing and complete absence of humanity amid the Gaza genocide. More than 1,700 healthcare workers have been killed since the start of Israel’s war on Gaza - an average of more than two of my colleagues every day. 

Deliberate targeting

Despite us having protection under international law, we are not spared, and are often even deliberately targeted by the Israeli military.

The horrific experience of our colleagues last year at al-Shifa Hospital is a clear example of this. When the Israeli army stormed the hospital, a number of doctors, nurses and patients were executed and buried by bulldozers on the hospital grounds. 

These war crimes shame humanity. Is this to be the fate of myself and my other colleagues, too - simply for doing our job and not abandoning our patients?

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I am not only a doctor. I am a regular Palestinian living this tragedy, under constant attack. I go through each day with almost no basic means of survival, and with great fear for my family - my wife, children and mother - who I leave behind each time I go to work, knowing I may never see them again.

Around eight children currently at the hospital require medical support and equipment to survive. They must not be left to die. All our children must be protected and cared for. 

This is the most basic right of childhood: the right to receive medical care even under the worst circumstances. I cannot imagine leaving a sick child to face death alone. Doing so would be a crime against humanity and against childhood itself.

We, the Palestinian people, love life. We are human beings just like you. We have futures, children, dreams and aspirations that we want to fulfill. Please, stop this genocide. Enough war. Enough destruction. Help us to live.

The views expressed in this article belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the editorial policy of Middle East Eye.